January 8, 2006
Tool EnvyI can't help feeling that tool developers are just tinkering at the edges of the real barriers to success in software projects.
This could be because the developers of these shiny new tools just aren't interested in solving the big problems. It may even be because they're unaware of what the big problems are, and choose to ignore them and get on with doing cool stuff instead.
I've dreamed up some new tools that I'd like to see developed in 2006:
* A tool that shuts down your network if you try to deploy untested software
* A tool that locks the customer in their office until they give you feedback on the latest release
* A tool that shuts off the power if senior management support drops below a certain level
* A tool that administers an electric shock when someone tries to use Microsoft Project
* A tool that turns on the sprinklers if a meeting goes on longer than an hour
* A tool that prevents you from communicating by email with people you sit next to
* A tool that locks all the doors if the project manager tries to hire too many developers
* A tool that automatically shreds documentation as it's printed
* A tool that won't let you log in if you work more than 40 hours in a week
Posted 15 years, 7 months ago on January 8, 2006